I didn’t mean to leave you lonely, muted tones
december 20th, 2005
Dear muted tones,
I’m on 64 different medications. My blood pressure goes up one minute and down the next. No, I’m not okay…how’re you?
I write this, of course, in the hopes that one day Mrs. Betty Butterfield will google herself (if it’s a sin, you just try casting the first stone) and know that all I want in this world is to work with her, because we come from the same place. It’s called Wal-Mart.
Anyway, muted tones, I meant to talk to you before this, really I did, and if you can explain to me why I took December, I’d appreciate it.
But all hope is not lost! I have been working on a song for you, and not by myself, either, because you wouldn’t like that at all. You see, I should be upfront with you: you’ve had people talk to you who have dazzling ability and musical training, who have deposited beautiful songs in your belly, and if you are a finicky mistress now, I can hardly blame you. Two years ago, I started writing songs with Hiram. Before that, the last time I had done so I was in my teens, and they all had titles like “You’re a Total Hypocrite.” So I drafted Hiram, and some of our other friends, frequent Harvey Girls themselves, are helping too. Brent Piepergerdes is going to be providing live beautiful drums. Brent and Hiram were in a band called Teriyakis for many years, so they do this sort of Kirk/Spock mind meld that’s deeply gratifying to watch, if a bit mystifying.
I also have the beautiful and talented DJ Sku as a guest star. He’s been recording and playing out with us for a year, but he’s in high demand around here, and so we covet every minute we can get. There he is in the picture, recording tonight in our dining room. I love watching him play.
So things are moving apace, don’t worry! The song so far is meaty beaty big and dancy, and that’s all I’m going to say about it, because I don’t want to ruin Christmas for you (unless you’re Jewish, muted tones, in which case I want to say that I totally support the war on Christmas, which all but the most naive people know is all about our increasingly depleted myrhh reserves).